Topic Thursdays

Hello all!

Over on Facebook, I have introduced a new series that I will be doing here at A Southern Mama’s Lost Filter.

I asked my lovely Facebook peeps to comment with a topic they would love to read/learn about. Each week, I will be picking one of their topics to research and write about in a new post.

This week saw a lot of topics, but the one I settled on is one that I believe, is important and the other topics mentioned sort of go along with it.

Today’s Topic Thursday is: Keeping God #1, your spouse #2, and kids #3. Also, the biblical importance of keeping them in order.

This is a great topic. Let me preface this post with the fact that I am no biblical scholar and these are just my opinions on the matter and they can be taken for what they are worth. I am preaching to the choir in most things that I write about. This topic is no different.

The most important thing with this topic is keeping God first. Whether you are married and have children or not, keeping God at the head of your life is a must.

In Proverbs 3:6, it says “In everything you do, put God first, and He will direct you and crown your efforts with success.” Let us not confuse this verse to say that if we keep God at the helm of our lives that all will be rainbows and cupcakes. No where in the Bible does it say once you surrender your life to Christ will your life be perfect. I feel that there are a lot of people who truly feel this will happen. Then when the hard times come, because they will, they become disappointed by this feel good religion and get dejected and turn away from God. Keeping God first doesn’t give you the perfect life, but it sets you up for being able to rely on God and keep your head above water.

When we put God first in our lives or families, it’s essentially putting your best foot forward. You wouldn’t go to a job interview without  being prepared. You don’t set out to cook your favorite meal with out having gone to the store for all the ingredients first.

Putting God first is just like that. To make your recipe taste right, you have to put all the ingredients in and in the correct order, too.

I strive to have a quiet time with God everyday. I’m not going to be holier than thou and say it happens everyday, because it doesn’t and I can tell in my day when I don’t make time for Him. My quiet time differs almost every time. Some times it’s when I randomly wake in the middle of the night. What else is one supposed to do at 3 am? I usually use that time to pray. I pray for everything and anything and anyone. I talk to God. My sole focus is on Him.

Other times, it’s right after my big kids leave for school and the baby hasn’t woken yet. It may be as simple as opening my First 5 app and reading the daily devotion. I often times find myself falling into a Jesus black hole of fishing for information on what I’ve read. That’s way better than falling into the black hole of hair product videos (how does this even happen?)

Sometimes I can’t get quiet until the middle of the day. Carpool line is a good place to focus on God. Y’all know what I’m talking about. I have to let Jesus take the wheel in carpool. I either find something to read on my phone or I take a book that is focused on God and read that.

There are some days that my time with Jesus doesn’t come until I lay down in the bed at night. Everyone is quiet and I’ve played my mindless Candy Crush. I get quiet and I focus on being still and shifting the days woes into the day’s blessings.

My hubs and I have several things on the bedside table that we read together. This doesn’t always happen. By the time we do get in the bed and I’m feeding the baby, bless his heart, my husband has drifted off to sleep. When we do have that time together though, it’s my favorite.

I don’t say all of these things to toot my spiritual horn, y’all. I can promise you, my quiet time DOES NOT HAPPEN EVERY DAY. I want it to. I miss it when I don’t, but I am but human and get distracted and my focus falls onto the day to day.

So, first comes God and then comes marriage. I totally wrote that to the tune of the childhood tease, first comes love, then comes marriage. Same thing really. God=love and so on. I’m chasing squirrels. Let me get back on track.

My husband and I have been together, come February, for 19 years. We are high school sweethearts. He still makes me feel the way I did when we started dating all those years ago. I love his face off and he is a hot topic when I have my quiet time with the Lord. In May, we will be married 15 years. Typing out all of these numbers is kind of making me feel old, but we aren’t really. I was 20 and he was 21 when we married. My mother had to sign for us to get married. Who knew?

When we got married, my wonderful in-laws gave us both Bibles at our rehearsal dinner. It was my first thing with my new name printed on it and something I will always cherish.(*Squee) In the back of our Bible’s, they wrote a letter of sorts. One part in it says, “Let Christ be in the center of your marriage and together you will be able to navigate any rough weather that comes your way.”

In the center.

Not to one side or the other, not tossed aside to be remembered when you need it.

In the middle.

This is probably a terrible analogy, but the one I wanted to use about circles and circumferences was way outside my realm of knowledge, so I stuck with what I know….

We love Oreo’s. Like, LOVE Oreo’s. I am convinced that Nabisco secretly injects the famous cookie with some sort of habit forming drugs. After our kids are in bed, we may or may not eat cookies and milk together on the couch. Not every night, you judgmental people, but sometimes. We share a glass of milk and take turns dunking that chocolaty goodness until it’s the right amount of smooshiness. Then, my husband finishes off the milk. That’s the way it happens, every time. I’m not sure why the makers feel the need to mess with their prize cookie by making it different flavors, but they do. As for me and mine, we buy the original double stuffed, party size (put those judgey eyes away). Without that cream in the middle, you just have two wafers, two individual cookies. You add the cream in the center and BAM, you’ve got one of the best cookies ever made. It holds the two cookies together. It’s what makes them an Oreo.

Christ being the center of your marriage is what makes a marriage last and withstand the trials that will undoubtedly come your way. It what defines your marriage, makes it what it is.  If in your marriage you are putting yourself first or putting your spouse first above God, do you see that those are the times that maybe things aren’t going as smoothly as normal?

I find that when I make my marriage all about me and my wants, not needs, but wants, that’s when our marriage takes a back seat and we fuss and disagree more and so on. It’s the same if my husband looses focus, too. Marriage isn’t really about us. It’s about bringing glory to God with what he intended.

This isn’t just about marriage either. If you are single, it applies to you as well. You have multiple facets to your life. If Christ isn’t the center, then all of those things can get out of control.

At the end of my letter in my Bible, my father-in-love writes, “Christ first, Chas second, self third”. Without Christ, there would be no us. Without Him in the center, there may be a marriage, but not one being utilized for God’s glory.

So again, first comes God, then come marriage, then comes the baby carriage. I realize that not every one has children. Not every wants children. If you don’t, then just exchange that for a job, family, friends or whatever is big in your life.

We have 4 children. They are the most precious gift we have been given, aside from eternity and each other.

My kids are my life. I’m a stay at home mama, so literally kids are my job. I do not do a good job of putting them in the position they should be in. I think it is safe for me to say that most families put their kids in the first position, over God. We become obsessed with our kids, if you will. All things revolve around them.

We are wrapping up our birthday season around our house. Our newest baby love was born in June and my husbands birthday is in June as well. Our third baby love and I have birthdays in July. My first baby love has a birthday in September and my second baby love has a birthday the first day of October (yesterday). I strive to make their birthdays extremely special and all about them. It’s the one day of the year that our worlds can solely revolve around them as sweet little individuals. I love to make their birthdays a big deal and tell them as long as I’m alive, their day will be special.

If we think about it though, how often are our children the center of our lives? Don’t get me wrong, our children are important and there are things that we as parents have been charged to do (Proverbs 22:6). Jesus constantly speaks of the importance of children in the Bible. In Psalms it is written, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him.” (Psalms 127:3)  In Mark 10, Jesus is in Judea with the disciples. People were bringing their children to see the Lord. I can’t blame them. I would want to be first in line! The disciples, however, were frustrated that all these children were “in the way”. Jesus saw their frustration and was like, hold your horses guys. It says that Jesus was indignant. I don’t know about y’all, but I really don’t want the Lord to be indignant where I am concerned! Verses 14-16 say, “When Jesus saw this, He was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will not enter it.” And He took the children in His arms, placed His hands on them and blessed them.” So the evidence is throughout about the importance of children.

It is most important though that we don’t let our identity be in our children. We are created in the image of Christ. Our identity is in Him.

I am not very good at this. Often times, our children come first in our marriage/lives and sadly, our walk with God. Even though “every good and perfect gift comes from above…” (James 1:17), God still wants to be first. We are the only things He created that He made in His image. The only thing.

Long after your kids are grown, you and your spouse will still be there. If your marriage identity is in your children, then you just sit around staring at this stranger wondering what to do. So, it’s important to put forth the work to grow your marriage even though you have children. Hello pot. This is an area that we as a couple need to work on.

It’s also important to take care of ourselves, too. We can get so run down doing and being everything for everyone. It’s easy to forget to have that time with God. If you have a big test, you don’t go into that test without having prepared for it. If you do, more than likely you’re going to fail the test. Our lives are no different. If we go through life without our focus on God, Him being at the helm, then we may fail the test.

Deuteronomy 6:5 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength…” The word that sticks out to me the most is all. Give God your ALL. Everything. Not some of it. Not just the bad stuff. Not just the good stuff. ALL of it.

It won’t always be easy to put God first and it won’t always be easy when we put God first, but it is vital.

I’ll leave you with a quote from Ezra Benson, “When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities.” ~ Ezra Taft Benson